Eye contact is often the first way we connect with one another, how we look beyond a surface gaze and build a relationship. The start (and finish) of so many love stories, a shared look can be the simplest cue to play – even if it’s the hardest to explain.
I was leaving a bar once in Brooklyn when a stranger pushed past me towards the street. He turned to apologize but kept apologizing, and tried to take my hand to show he meant it, pressing in towards me as others in the crowd backed away. People who live in, let’s say, marginalized realities often seem to find me. They’ll corner me on buses and in cafes, they’ll try to convert me or warn me about conspiracies between pharmaceutical companies and space aliens. They often say they feel a connection.
This man nudged the guy I was with, jerked his head towards me with a smile and said “watch out for this one”. I half-laughed and asked “why? Am I so dangerous?”. He smiled. Nodded.
“I mean it, brother,” he said. “She looks people in the eyes.”
Eye contact is incredibly important in how we relate to one another but it’s…
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